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Bad Harry! Bad, bad Harry!

Before my heart stops racing and before I go on a binge breaking things…

This morning I was to meet Harry for breakfast at the local Huddle House.  We met.  Now I’m at work and ready to spit nails into someone’s tires.

When I got there he was already sitting in the booth.  I sat down, we ordered, and he just stared at me and smiled.  I told him about our tenants moving out, and about the possible buyer on the house.  When I mentioned that I just hate not knowing how long I’ll be here and what is going on, he had kind of a weird guilty look on his face.  I knew something was up.

Then he said, “There’s something that I wanted to talk to you about.  I should have told you last week, but I couldn’t.”  Great.  What now?  Then he went on to tell me that his friends had talked him into giving it another shot with his wife, and he had moved, as in really moved, back in with his wife, but he really likes me and wants to keep seeing me.  WHAT THE HELL?

This is EXACTLY what I told him I didn’t want to happen.  I told him in the beginning that I didn’t want to start seeing him and then have him turn around and decide he was going back with his wife or ex-girlfriend.

I feel like an idiot.  I saw the red flags, and I chose to ignore them.

Any way, I told him that I refused to be the “other woman.”  If he wanted to try to work things out with his wife, then he should do so and give it his all…with no girlfriends on the side.  I even told him that I hoped things worked out for them.

All he could say was that he was sorry.

Sorry my ass.  I didn’t even eat my breakfast.  My appetite was gone.  I brought it back for my sister to eat instead.  From my pain, comes her gain.

I’m trying to remain calm about all this, because I didn’t even really have anything vested into the relationship yet, but it still pisses me off.  Deep breaths and happy thoughts….

On the bright side, now I have something to write about.  And…I no longer have evil thoughts about how I should stick around here.  I still owe you an explanation on why I probably shouldn’t move back to New Orleans, but I’ll post that in a separate post, soon.  (Just so you know, I would really, really like to move back to NOLA.)

Happy humping.

Dear Unicorn

A redheaded hobbit runs through the forest in search of the ever elusive unicorn.  Giving up her search, she decides to write the Unicorn a letter.

Dear Unicorn,

I thought I had found you, but it turns out that it was just a horse with a shiny horn super-glued to its handsome head.  Searching for you has been exhausting, and therefore I am no longer going to continue my search.  Wherever you may be, if you do even exist, I am leaving it up to you to find me.  Hopefully fate will bring us together.

Until that time I have decided to move on with my little hobbit life and search for more tangible things like a new house, a new job, a new car, and an ale that tastes good and is less filling.

While my search for you has been fun and exciting at times, it has also raised my blood pressure and heart rate in very bad ways.  My goal now is to live a more stress-free life, leave the trolls alone, and let God sort out the rest.

Sincerely,

The Redheaded Hobbit, aka

The Preacher’s Daughters Part the Red State

Well, it’s official.  My sister is leaving me.  She’s going to move north, and I’m going to stay here, for now at least.  I am looking for a new job.  The one that I have is not bad, but it doesn’t pay worth a shit.  Therefore I have decided to stick it out here as long as I can, or until the stalkers run me out of town.  Actually I am just trying to give myself time to find a really awesome job making boat loads of money.  An added benefit will be that I’ll be here all alone and have plenty of peace and quiet.  Hopefully that will mean that I will finally be able to get some work done on my book.  You know, the book that I’ve been working on for over a year now.

The only other news that I have is about my new stalker/friend Harry.  I did end up seeing him again.  He picked me up from work yesterday and we went out to dinner.  I have to say though, for a stalker with an abundance of family drama, he’s a fairly nice and normal guy.  It’s too bad that he’s not going to make the cut.

Oh, another odd thing happened.  My boss had to drive me over to his other store this morning, and as soon as I got in the truck he said, “So what’s the deal with that man?”  He was talking about Harry.  I tried to play it off and said, “Nothing.”  He then kept asking what was the deal with Harry and asked what he did and all kinds of questions that were just a little too personal for a boss to be asking an employee.

I have my own ideas as to the reason behind his little interrogation, but I’d rather hear what you have to say about it.

Happy humping & Vote Willie!

Uncommon Whore

Usually my job consists mainly of answering the phone, scheduling appointments, keeping the store clean and tidy, helping customers that wander in, and sitting on my ass playing on the computer the rest of the time.  It’s a pretty good job.

The answering the phone part is no big deal, except when the occasional pervert or extreme redneck calls.  There’s one guy who had us install a television projector system at his weekend home.  According to my sources, it’s used mainly for watching porn.  He has four channels on his satellite service that shows nothing but porn 24/7.  That has to be expensive.  Anyway, he called about a month ago because the bulb went out in his projector and he needed it fixed before the upcoming weekend.  Unfortunately we had to order the bulb and it was going to take longer.  He called me about every other day asking if it had come in yet.  Every time he called, before he’d hang up, he’d ask, “What was your name again?”  I would tell him, again.  Then he would say in the creepiest voice, “Hehe, I like that name.”  I swear I could hear banjos in the background.  It gives me the willies every time I think about it.

He called the store one day and said that he just had to have it fixed before the weekend because he was having a big “Olympics” party.  I didn’t know they had a jack-off competition in the Olympics.  Anyway, we got it fixed in time for his big “party.”

So far at this job I’ve had two marriage proposals and a whole slew of creepy guys come in who like to call me baby and honey.  I deemed last Thursday “Preachers and Pimps” Day due to the fact that I had to deal with entirely too many of each that day.  Actually it was difficult to tell which was which sometimes.  It’s usually the preachers and car salesmen who I get mixed up.  They share such similar personality traits.

The highlight of my week though was on Tuesday.  I was behind the counter because a customer had just left.  A man walked through the door.  He was in his early forties, dark curly hair, bright brown eyes, and handsome.  I always greet people when they come in, so I said my usual, “Hello. Can I help you find something?”  He looked at me and smiled as he walked toward me.  When he got up to the counter he said hello and kept smiling.  I think I kind of gave him a confused look, because I was definitely a little confused, and finally he said, “Hi Ginger, it’s me, Harry.”

“Um, oh, hi Harry.”  I was still confused, but eventually it hit me that he was a guy who I had talked to on Plenty of Fish.  Yep, I’m back on that hell hole of a dating site.  I’m not sure why, other than just because I’m bored as hell here.  So once I figured out who he was and got over my state of shock we talked a bit between customers coming in.  He asked if I wanted to go to lunch with him one day and I said that would be fine.  Then he apologized for surprising me like he did, and he left.

It took me a while to figure out how he even knew where I worked because I didn’t remember ever telling him.  I saw where I had mentioned working at the music store in town and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out where that is since there’s only one in town.  Well, at least he was better looking than in his picture online and he seemed nice enough.

Wednesday we went to the local sushi restaurant for lunch.  I was on a tight schedule and only had an hour to talk and eat lunch, so I was trying to keep an eye on the time.  We didn’t really talk about anything too deep during that hour, just chatted really.  Then about five minutes before I had to leave to go back to work he looked down at the table and said, “I guess I ought to just lay it all out shouldn’t I?”  I gave him an “Oh God, here it comes” look, and said “Ok” and held my breath waiting for him to tell me he was an ex-con or something.

He then went into this whole story about how he had separated from his wife earlier this year and then moved in with his girlfriend.  Then his house flooded and they moved in with his wife and kids, because he had bought the house so why shouldn’t he live there…and the girlfriend left him two weeks ago and he was still getting over it all.  All the while, still living with his (soon to be ex) wife and kids and remodeling his flooded house next door.  Yeah, I know.  It sounded like one big “OMG WTF run like hell” red flag.  I tried to be nice and calm about it all though, because I know from experience that fucked up things can happen to good people, but…I’m not that naïve…anymore.

So my knee-jerk instinct was to tell him that I wasn’t looking for anything serious now and I hoped things worked out for him.  Before his little admission, I would have thought him great boyfriend material (handsome, funny, smart, and successful), after it though, he became just a bad taste in my mouth.  Maybe that was just the wasabi.  Either way, I was no longer interested.

He has texted me randomly since our lunch date.  I didn’t hear from him yesterday and thought that maybe he had forgotten about me and I wouldn’t have to worry about dealing with him.  No such luck.  He sent me a text today that said, “Hey…miss ginger. I just want u to know I have been thinking about u :) ” and then “Mostly dreaming about u.”  First of all, I don’t know how to reply to something like that.  If I reply “Thanks” or “That’s nice” then I end up sounding like a cold-hearted bitch.  If I tell him that was sweet, then I feel like I’m leading the poor guy on.  It’s a no-win situation, so I just said “hi.”

He started asking if we could see each other again and I decided I had to nip it in the bud.  I told him flat-out that I didn’t want any crazy wives or ex-girlfriends coming after me, and I asked why he just didn’t try to work things out with the girlfriend.  He replied, “I did.. but I’m over her now. ;) ”  Then I knew I was in trouble.  The smiley-wink gave it away.  He was smitten and I was fucked.  So I told him again that I wasn’t looking for anything serious now and didn’t want to hang out with him and then a week later he decide that he’s getting back together with his wife or girlfriend.  I was trying to run this guy off, but he wasn’t biting.  His reply?  “I have been thinking about u a lot. I don’t want a one nighter!”  Crap.

Now for the kicker.  I haven’t had sex in six months!  Count them!  SIX months!  I’m horny as hell and am nearing my breaking point.  Yet, I just don’t seem to have it in me to use this guy as my “dick in a jar” and break the glass.  Why, you ask?  It’s because I’m holding out for something better.  It’s not that he’s not sexy, he’s just not the one that I want.

What the hell is wrong with me?!  I can’t remember ever having this problem before.  In the past I could always block things out of my mind and at the very least just use a guy to meet my physical needs when necessary.  Shit.  I think something’s broken.

Happy humping!

Date Night

Gerard Butler

Gerard Butler

I had a date last night.  Don’t get too excited.  It wasn’t that great.  I was supposed to go out with him over a week ago, but I cancelled on him.  I just had no desire at all to go out with him.  His profile on the dating site was bland and his picture did nothing for me.  It seems that no matter how hard I try, I just can’t get over being shallow when it comes to appearance.  Not that I must have a guy who looks like Gerard Butler, but I do like a clean-looking guy who at least tries to take care of himself.  I do find many different types of men attractive though, and what I find attractive, well, someone else may not.  That’s just how it works.  Different strokes for different folks.

My date, however, was not the type that I usually find attractive.  He’s a big boy, which is fine because I’ve dated a few big boys before, and I had no problems being physically attracted to them.  The difference is that something about their face, their personalities, or some other thing attracted me to them.  Actually I’ve always kind of preferred guys who were stocky or big and tall, because it made me feel protected and safe.  When I was with them, I felt like they would protect me.

So last night he sent me a text asking where I wanted to meet.  I had already eaten dinner so I asked if we could just meet for a drink somewhere.  He replied saying that he wasn’t really into bars.  Well that was strike one.  Not because I’m a heavy drinker or anything, but I haven’t been able to get out and do much these last few months and it would be nice to go out for a drink with someone.  That wasn’t going to happen, so we decided to meet at the city park.  It wasn’t something I wanted to do at all, but I felt guilty for cancelling on him the first time and he had driven a half hour to meet me.  While I was driving to meet him at the park I kept thinking, “I really don’t feel like doing this.  I’d rather just be at home watching tv.”  My sister told me before I left that I needed to go be social.  I didn’t really see how meeting a complete stranger in a park at night was being social, but I went anyway.

Big Boy was there waiting for me when I got there.  I put on my happy face and tried my best to be social.  We sat down at a picnic table to talk.  As we were talking though I noticed that his eyes kept drifting down, and he kept scooting closer.  Every time he moved closer my body would tense up and I think he finally noticed.  He did make me laugh a little, but I’m not sure if it was more of a nervous laugh, or because he was being funny.  He made several comments about how he was very giving and affectionate, and how he would do this or that, “you know, if it ever got to that point.”  Bad DateHe was talking about sex of course.  As you all know, I love sex, but I prefer not to talk too much about it openly like that on a first date.  I’m a changed woman, and now I want to get to know someone first.  I just sort of half smiled and ignored his comments on the subject.

About an hour into our conversation I told him I needed to get going.  He walked me to my truck, and kept talking to me. I just wanted to go home.  He hugged me and tried to give me a kiss, but I pulled away.  I said goodbye and left.  It was pretty much what I expected.  It only reinforced my lack of desire to date now.  The men around here just aren’t appealing to me.

Since I’m talking about what I find appealing…I’d like to say that sometimes even I am surprised by who I am attracted to.  I’m really surprised when I look back at some of my past lovers.  I can’t help but think, “What the hell was I thinking?  He’s not even attractive.”  On the other hand though, sometimes I’m attracted to guys who are generally considered to be handsome, but just not my usual type.

Take my new boss, Wildman, for example.  I’ve known him for probably ten years.  The Preacher met him when they first moved here, and he installed the sound system in the Preacher’s church that he had here.  Over the years my dad came to consider him a friend, and the Preacher, my mother, and I even had dinner with Wildman and his wife once.  I just knew him through the Preacher though, and didn’t really know much about him.  I did know that for some reason I found him very attractive.  He’s definitely not what I normally like.  He’s got crazy long hair, and that’s something I usually hate.  (Oh, before I go any further here…I want you to know that I adore him and his wife and I would never make any moves on him.  He’s married and my boss.)  I guess my point is just that sometimes I don’t even understand why I find someone attractive.  I just do.

On that note, I will say goodnight.  I have to get up early tomorrow so that I can have time to practice my guitar.  I bought a beautiful new baby blue electric guitar, and now I just have to learn to play it.  Playing the bass guitar has always been easy for me, but those two extra strings and the damn chords are working on my nerves.  I’ll get it though.  I bought a DVD that will teach me.  ;)

Happy humping & rock on!