1. Public intoxication
Actually this one probably happened on a regular basis a few years ago. However, my sister rarely drinks anymore, and I only drink when I’m out with Teacher. So we’ll reserve this one for holidays such as Halloween, St. Patty’s Day, and New Years Eve.
Sunday night (Cinco de Mayo) when I was with Teacher I did drink several beers by the fire. He told me later that he could tell I was getting a little drunk. I asked how he could tell and he said I “get cuter.” Hehe.
2. Driving while under the influence
As you all know I already had my little run in with the law over this one and I do not want a repeat of that. Twenty-two hours with Big Bertha in a freezing cold, overly bright jail cell was plenty for me.
3. Driving like a drunk granny
Last night as Fallen Angel, Little Bubba, and I were coming back from dinner we got pulled over. She and I both said, “What’d we do?!” She wasn’t speeding. Her tag isn’t expired. We had no idea. To make things worse, Little Bubba was in the back seat and he said, “Mommy I’m scared.” (Unfortunately he had acted up all night & I jokingly told him that if he didn’t behave I’d call the cops. Bad idea.) I had to reassure him several times after that the cop/sheriff’s deputy was the “good guy.”
Evidently, per the sheriff’s deputy, she was “driving 10 mph under the speed limit and weaving.” Her truck has rattled lately and it sounds like a raccoon is under the hood, so she’s been trying to take it easy and not drive too fast. She told the deputy that was why she was going so slow. He said that was ok, but she was also weaving and he just wanted to make sure she was alright. He also said “it’s your lane and if you want to use it all then that’s fine.” (The funny thing is that I tell her all the time that she weaves too much, but she never believes me. Finally I have proof! LOL)
He let us go on our merry way after that.
4. Failure to pay outstanding traffic tickets
This one seems to plague me and Fallen Angel. She got a ticket last year for having an expired inspection sticker, and to my knowledge she never took care of it. Of course I still have a couple of tickets that I’ve got to pay from when I was living in the Big Easy. That was another reason we both sort of panicked when she got pulled over last night.
5. Cavorting with 17-year-old boys
This one goes back to last year when I was talking to a guy from OKCupid.com. His profile said he was 18, but he turned out to be only 17. Once I found out, I quickly put a stop to any and all sexy talk and receiving of pictures from him. The threat of jail time was enough to scare me straight, and it prompted me to change my search to only guys 24 years old and up.
That wasn’t my first encounter with a 17-year-old though. Back when I was 22 I had a one-niter with my cousin’s co-worker. I didn’t know the guy was only 17 until after the dirty deed was done. I also didn’t know he was a virgin until it was too late. We live and learn, as the old saying goes.
So there’s my list of the top 5 reasons why the Preacher’s Daughters might get arrested. Thankfully I’ve only been arrested once, and my sister has yet to make that dreaded call to the Preacher from a jail cell at 2:00 am. Hopefully she never will, because if she does…I’m not bailing her ass out of jail. Not after the way she’s been treating me lately. By the way, she’s still being a bitch from hell.
Our mother and aunt are set to arrive tomorrow. It’s going to be a little Mother’s Day visit. The only thing I’m looking forward to is taking them all out to dinner Saturday night. No, I’m not looking forward to paying, but I am looking forward to having them meet Teacher and hear him perform. His duo is playing that night at the restaurant we’re going to. Hehe. See, I’m still capable of being a sneaky bitch myself. Fallen Angel hasn’t completely captured that title.
Happy humping & drive safe!